Confusion
by Lady Helen
Summary: Jean has been raped, but is not coping well, Fortunatly someone knows what she is going through. My first ever fanfic so be nice please! not slash just good friends, rated for language and subject
1. chap 1

Confusion

She felt like stone, and yet she felt like she had thousands of emotions whirling around inside of her, chasing each other. Dancing to the rhythm of her beating heart. But was she even sure it was still beating? Surely her heart had broken long ago, strained to the point of breakage. Just one moment had done this to her, she had no where to run, nowhere to hide and no one understood why. She was repulsed by everything she touched, everything whispered the events of that night into to her unsuspecting mind. The worst part was the feeling of helplessness. She, Jean Grey, the control freak, had suddenly not been in control. She could have done nothing to stop him. She was so confused, she didn't know why she was hanging on to the little part of life she had left. Surely the end could be no worse than the hell she was living now.

Standing up Jean looked solemnly out across the grounds of the mansion, watching the children play in the sunshine. She knew they thought her odd, some may even want to help, but that she could not stand what she saw in their eyes more than anything. Pity. That was why she had not told anyone, she would rather cast herself away from everyone than have everyone pity her. She turned her head away from the warmth of the sunshine and headed in to the kitchen, passing students on her way. She fixed a smile on to her face until she reached the kitchen, and nearly passed out with relief when she entered the kitchen to find it was empty.

Jean suddenly rushed to the other side of the kitchen to where the knives were and stood with her hand hovering just above a large gleaming sharp kitchen knife. Grabbing the handle she slowly pulled it out of its place in the wooden holder. Hearing footsteps in the hallway out side she quickly slid the knife into her bag.

"Jean, are you ok?" Storm had slid into the kitchen, moving like a shadow as always.

"I'm fine why do you ask?" Jean fixed her smile back into place, praying the knife had not been seen. She could tell her breathing was too loud, she needed to get out of here before her conscience got the better of her.

"I saw you outside and you looked pale, too pale Jean." Storm reached out across the gap between them and gently touched jean hollow cheek.

"And when was the last time you ate? You've lost so much weight in the last 2 weeks." A look crossed Storm's face, it looked too much like pity for Jean.

"I'm fine and I've been eating fine! I just need some alone time ok! Look I'm going for a lie down now, ok? I'll see you later" Jean rushed out of the kitchen brushing roughly against Storm.

Storm Stood in the middle of the kitchen looking confused and extremely worried.

"Oh ok...."

Storm new that look, that had taken over Jean, it was the look of a broken woman. The look that Storm had once taken on. Suddenly Storm new Jean's secret, she understood now, Jean had been raped. Storm was going to keep an eye on her from now on, she would help Jean through this, if Jean wanted her help or not.


	2. chap 2

I forgot the disclaimer last time slaps back of hand naughty me! I own nothing (apart from my pinny gigs and my brand new watch I got for passing my GCSE's! woooo, ok stopping the bragging now ;) I'm making nothing from this either! Please don't sue!

And **this** means its thoughts

Chapter 2

Wandering blindly Jean followed her feet as they took her to her room. Blocking the door behind her with a chair under the door handle, she turned, whipping her head from side to side to make sure no one was about. Shaking she sat on the edge of the bed, wondering.

**Why had she taken the knife? Why had she lied to Storm? Of course she wasn't ok! She had been raped!**

The fact that Storm didn't know that didn't stop Jean from being angry at her.

**She was angry at every one! No one understood! He had torn her world apart, made her feel so violated and she couldn't even take it out on him!**

Then it struck her.

**It was all her fault! She hadn't been in control, he had called her a slut, said she deserved what she got.**

And for the first time Jean began to question herself.

**Maybe it was her fault, she did wear tight clothing. She couldn't believe she had been so stupid! Of course she was such a slut! It was amazing no one had taught her this before! It was all her fault!**

Whimpering Jean rushed into the bathroom and threw up noisily into the toilet, disgusted with her self. She sat on the edge of the bath shaking, rocking backwards and forwards, hugging herself. As she rocked she heard the steady thumping of the knife in her bag hitting the side of the bath. Reaching slowly, cautiously, as if the knife would jump out and strike her itself, she put her hand into the bag. She flinched as the handle touched the tips of her fingers. But after a moments hesitation grasped the handle firmly and drew the knife slowly out of the bag. She could almost feel the knife slicing the air as it glinted in the faint light of the bulb in the bathroom.

Jeans breathing suddenly became very ragged as the reality of what she held in her hands came to her. All she could hear was her breathing loud in her ears, as if taunting her of how delicate her life was. All she could see was the knife moving in her shaking hands. All of her senses were toned on to the knife in her hands. So much so when some one knocked gently on the door she dropped it. She watched it fall, as if in slow motion. Watched it bounce ad clatter until it finally lay still.

"Jean" Storm called softly through the door "dinner is ready"

Suddenly all of Jean's senses rushed back to her.

**How long had she been sitting there? Staring at the thing that now lay in the middle of the floor. Watching it silently. God she needed to get out of here, away from that thing, No she needed to hide it! But where?**

"Jean, are you there?" Strom said, a bit louder this time. Jean heard her try the door.

"Jean? Jean? Are you ok? Jean?" There was panic in Storm's voice now. Jean had to act now, before Storm blew the door in. But she didn't think her voice would work.

"I'm coming" Jean's voice cracked, but held.

"Are you sure?" Storm's voice was apprehensive. She didn't want to intrude where she wasn't wanted but on the other hand she wanted to help Jean. To tell her everything would be alright in the long rung, that she knew and she would be there for her.

"I'm sure, I'll be down in a minute" Jean's voice grew stronger with every word. She hoped that it would be enough to convince her oldest friend.

"ok then I'll see you down there" Jean heard Storm move off with another moments hesitation.

She turned around and looked in to the mirror.

**God she was a mess!**

She quickly splashed some water on to her face and calmly put some blusher on to hide her too pale face. Then she turned and faced it. Praying she wouldn't throw up again, she grabbed the knife and moved into the main bedroom. Fishing around in her pocket with her free hand she brought out the keys to her desk. Unlocking it she placed the knife into the top drawer, and quickly shut it again. She locked it and placed the keys into her pocket. Pulling on the drawer to make sure it was shut tight. She quickly ran across the room and unblocked the door, never putting her back to her desk. With one last glance at the drawer she shut her bedroom door, placed a smile on her lips and prepared to act normally once again.

fin

So? What do you think? Should I go on? Or end it there? Thanks so much for the kind reviews! Also should I make this a slash, Jean/Storm story or a Jean/Scott story (baring in mind I don't much like Scott so it would be difficult for me to write about him) Please tell me in your reviews! :D


	3. chap 3

A/N: In the previous chapter I had Jean thinking that it was her fault she was raped. I do NOT agree with this. I put this in because the victims often blame themselves as I know too well. I think men who rape should be shot (just to clarify that) I also know that victims often get angry with everyone because they can't be angry at the attacker, Jean will be a little bit more bitchy in this story.

Chapter 3

Jean entered the dinning room cautiously, stopping for a moment by the door to watch her friends and the students, most of whom had become friends to her also, interacting with one another. Everyone seemed so happy, no one could guess looking upon such a scene that there was such evil in the world. Spotting an empty chair beside professor Xavier, Jean slid into it and turned to the older man preparing herself to take up the mindless chit chat she had become accustomed to since the attack. She could no longer open up to anyone, not even the one person she normally told everything, the person she had come to think of as a father figure. She had even put up a mental barrier that would deter Charles, even if it would not stop him if he really wanted to read her mind, it would dissuade him. And the Professor would not go into her mind if she had put a barrier up. It was a clear signal to all telepaths that this person does not want their minds read.

As Jean settled into the topic of anti mutant rallies, that were springing up all over the country, with the Professor, she caught Storm looking at her from across the room. Storm's face, that had shown her emotion of worry, quickly went blank and she turned to carry on a conversation with Rogue.

**Shit! She saw the knife didn't she? She knows! No, calm down Jean, she can't know what your going through no one does! Silly bitch! She thinks she can read my mind? I'm the damn telepath!**

As Jean became more and more wound up Storm's napkin, that Jean was staring at, started to shake. It moved so very slightly. Storm's eyes shot to the napkin, and then straight to Jean's eyes. Looking straight into those deep brown eyes, Jean's rush of thoughts stopped and the napkin became still.

"Jean? Jean?" The Professors voice broke though her thoughts and she snapped her head around to face him.

"Are you already Jean? You seem a million miles away." That look of pity that Jean despised so much crossed the Professors face. Feeling sick again Jean knew she needed to get out there.

"I'm fine, really I'm." How many times was she going to have to say that and not mean it?

"I'm just a bit tired I guess, I'll be fine, I think I might go for a walk actually." Jean had managed to control her emotions enough to cover her face with a fake smile. As Jean stood up the Professor laid one hand on hers.

"If you need any time off, just tell me. You've been working harder than anyone these past 2 weeks." He patted her hand reassuringly.

"No, no I'll be fine." The last thing she needed was more time to think.

"I'll just go and get some fresh air, I'll be fine really!" And keeping the big, fake smile on her face she raced out of the room.

The Professor looked across at Storm and shared a worried look with her, both looked down at the plate full of Jean's untouched meal, and back up to each other, worry lines deep in both foreheads. They both sighed and turned away to their own conversations. Both deciding they would wait to see if there was anything they could do to help Jean.

As Jean wandered across the silent gardens, her mind wandered back to the object in her room, the object she was trying hardest to not think about. Why had she taken it? What was she going to do with it? She was still not sure she had the courage to go through with what the knife showed her mind when she picked it up. Would fear win and she would go on living this hateful life in the hope that this feeling of being violated would fade? Or would she take that step to end it all?

**God! I'm so confused!**

**Fin**

So there you have it, the third chapter of my story. I have now decided that Scott will be in it, but only as a friend for the simple fact that I don't think Jean would be feeling all that romantic at this moment, giving the circum stances, and I want for her to be able to keep it a secret from everyone. This would be hard if she couldn't bare Scott touching her. Does that make any sense? Please complain if I'm doing some thing wrong, but sorry I just can't make Scott her saviour, he annoys me too much! hides before all the Scott lovers come and beat me up!


	4. chap 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing! sobs

A/N; I have rejigged the last 2 chapters so it should make a bit more sense when your reading it now! Enjoy this next chapter, and please, please, please review! :D

Chapter 4

Jean had returned to her room late that evening, remaining in the garden until it became too cold to bare it. She was putting off the inevitable, she knew she would have to do something about the knife. She felt so foolish, and childish at times for even taking the knife. Of course she wasn't going to kill herself! That's was just ridiculous! But at other times she could almost feel the hard edge of the knife against her skin. It would be so easy! She could just escape, be free of this feeling of being continuously dirty, unable to get the feel of him off her skin. At these times she was barely able to stop herself from being sick.

Although she didn't know it, Jean was being watched by several pairs of eyes, all very worried for their friend. Scott, Logan and the Professor watched Jean from separate rooms. Not knowing what tormented her, they decided to leave her to her own thoughts. Jean was sensible, she could work things out on her own.

Storm sitting at her desk in her bedroom could not keep her eyes off the wandering figure in the garden. She was torn, should she go and offer the hand of friendship, tell Jean that she knew what she was going through? Or leave her and wait to see if she could cope on her own, if she thought about it she, Storm herself, had gone through this, she had come out the other side ok. There were some scary moments in there but she had survived without the help of anyone. Sighing Storm turned away from the window and finished marking the last paper for tomorrow's class. She eventually turned off the light and crawled into bed, she would leave Jean alone for the moment.

When Jean finally became too cold she wandered into the danger room and set it to a program that would test all of her abilities. She worked her self until she nearly dropped from exhaustion. Breathing heavily, in desperate need of a shower, and barely able to keep her eyes open, Jean trudged to the door of her room. She shuddered thinking of the thing inside. It was no use she would have to face it at some time. Reaching slowly out, she turned the handle and stepped inside. The room was how it had been when she had left it that morning. Jean crossed the room and opened the drawer and gasped when the light hit the knife and bounced back into her eyes, blinding her for just a second. So it was still there. She was being silly, it wasn't as though the knife could jump out and attack her itself! Even though, she locked the drawer and checked it was shut twice. She got a quick shower to get rid of the sweat that had been produced in the danger room, and checked the drawer was still locked again, before curling up with her hair still wet and just in her bath robe on to her bed, watching the drawer. She stayed like that for the next 6 hours, and when she finally fell asleep at 6 in the morning, her sleep was filled with nightmares, making her relive that horrible night, mixing it with visions of the knife. And when Storm came in at 8 to wake her for breakfast, she found Jean struggling in her sleep with the blanket wrapped tightly around her. Storm leaned over to shake her, but Jean was still in her dream and just struggled more and more. Finally after a minute of Storm shouting her name, Jean sat up violently, and let out such a chilling scream. Storm jumped away but came closer again when Jean stopped her screaming, when she realised it was just a dream. Storm pulled her into a hugged, whispering "it was just a dream, just a horrible dream." Storm rocked her backwards and forwards while Jean sobbed quietly into her shoulder. Jean was shaking so much that Storm could hear her teeth chattering.

After about 10 minutes Storm pulled slowly away, brushing tears from Jean's cheeks and brushing her hair out of her face.

"Are you ok?" She kept her voice low so as not to startle Jean.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that, just a bad dream" Jean mumbled, sniffling slightly.

"Are you sure? You look like you haven't slept in days." Storm's voice mirrored the worry that was in her face.

"Yeah I'm sure!" Jean fixed a smile on her face and tried to sit up a little straighter "It's just a silly dream I'll get over it honestly!"

"It wasn't just a silly dream if it's affected you this badly Jean, please tell me what's wrong!" Storms held her breath, hoping her old friend would confide in her so maybe she could help her in return. She had no such luck though.

"Really I'm fine" Jean said breezily, the fixed smile becoming wider. She swung her legs out from under the blankets.

"I'll be down in a minute" Storm took this as a dismissal and turned to the door.

"Oh Storm could we keep this between us? There's no need to worry every one else huh?" Jean held her breath and prayed Storm would agree. Storm sighed and gave Jean a pained look.

"Ok I won't say anything, but if you ever need to talk I'm here ok?"

"Ok, but I really am fine" Storm gave her a half hearted smile that showed clearly she didn't believe Jean and left.

Jean let out the breath she had been holding and turned to get ready. She checked the knife was still there, tried to tame her hair that had dried funny because she hadn't dried it before she feel asleep the night before. She checked the knife was still there again and finally concentrated on trying to hide the lack of sleep on her face and picked out an outfit for the day. Finally on the way out of the door she checked on the knife one last time, satisfied she turned and walked down the corridor that lead to the dinning room.

Scott was walking in the other direction, Jean was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't see him. He reached out and grabbed her arm as she was walking past.

"Hey you look dreadful, are you coming down with something? Or have you got something on your mind?" But Jean did hear a word of it. All she felt was his hand on her arm and she panicked. She was transported back to that night, when her attacker had first grabbed her arm and pinned her down. She could hear own breathing loud in her ears, but nothing else. It wasn't long before she blacked out. Her body just could not cope.

**Fin**

Ok there's quite a long chapter to keep you busy! Hope you enjoyed it! And see all you Scott lovers, he is there! :D


	5. chap 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing sobs

Chapter 5

Down in the hospital wing the x-men surrounded the sedated body of Jean.

"What happened to her Professor?" Logan crossed the room to hold Jean's limp hand, worry spreading through every line in his face.

"She's had a panic attack, she became so wound up that her head forgot to tell her body to cool down. So her body did the only thing it could, it shut down." Professor tried to keep his voice calm and reassuring, if not for the other x-men, then for himself.

"But what brought on this panic attack? I know she had had a bad dream but when I saw her last she was calm." The Professor looked at Storm questioningly but Storm shook her head, indicating she would tell the Professor when they were alone.

"I think Scott has the answer to that" the Professor and the rest of the room turned towards Scott who had been unusually quiet.

"I don't know, I just stopped her in the hall, I was worried about her and was asking if she was ok. And she just stood there staring at my hand on her arm and freaking out. I tried to calm her down but I don't think she heard me." Seeing Scott's guilty face, Storm decided to put an end to this and tell them.

"I think I know what has been bothering Jean these past few weeks." Everyone turned to her with the same expression on their faces, confusion. She would have found it funny had it not been such a depressing subject she was going to broach.

"I think Jean may have been raped. She has been acting funny ever since she came back from buying snacks from the shop 2 weeks ago." Storm felt a strange sense of relief now that it came to telling everyone.

"But how can you know?" Logan asked.

"Because I can recognise the face of a broken woman, it was a face that I wore sometime ago." She waited for her words to sink in, with her eyes downcast on to the figure on the bed. Finally looking up she saw on the faces of her closet friends her worst nightmare. Pity was mirrored on every one of those faces.

"Storm..." Scott took a step towards her, but Storm backed away.

"No" She said firmly.

"I don't want your pity. It happened, I dealt with it. End of story. We need to concentrate on helping Jean now." She looked again at the figure on the bed.

"I think we should keep this to our selves, the last thing she needs is for us to be butting in, she needs to work this out for herself" Storm held her breath praying that these, often stubborn, men would bend to her experience. Fortunately they were either still in shock over her announcement, or seeing sense because they all nodded mutely.

Jean's sedation began to wear off and she began to mumble in her sleep, Storm hurried to wake her up before she got herself into another fit. Jean sat up quickly, gasping and promptly fainted. Groaning her eyes fluttered open a minute later. Storm's face hovered over her.

"Jean? Jean, listen to me, breath... ok? Just breath" When Jean's eyes fixed on hers and she saw Jean was breathing steadily along with her, she said gently,

"Right I want you to sit up very, very slowly ok? Because you fainted last time because you sat up too quickly" Slowly Jean nodded, still breathing deeply. Very slowly, with the help of Storm, she sat up swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

"Urgh I feel horrible, what happened?" Jean looked up groggily, slowly remembering what had happened, her eyes went wide.

"You gave Scott quite a scare, what made you freak so much?" Storm threw in one last attempt at getting Jean to tell her. But jean just looked down and changed the subject

"Where is Scott I need to apologise for startling him" she looked vaguely round the room.

"I sent the men away, they were all very worried. But I thought you might feel better I there were fewer people around." Jean nodded slowly waiting for her brain to understand the words. At least she was saved from having questions thrown at her when her barriers were so far down.

"I think the Professor wanted you to stay in the hospital wing until your temperature settles down again. Do you want me to give you a sedative to help you sleep better?"

Jean nodded and lay back down thinking at least she could organise her thoughts before she saw everyone again, and it would be nice to actually sleep for once. Then she thought no more as the black engulfed her.

**Fin**

A/N Sorry its only a short chapter, and its not a particularly well written cos I'm doing other stuff at the same time as writing, apologises profusely, but the next chap will be better! I promise! As always please review!


	6. chap 6

Disclaimer: I own nothing (do u really need to ask?!?)

Chapter 6

As soon as Jean was aloud out of the hospital wing she threw herself into her work. She was so involved in trying to distract herself, that she nearly missed the pitying looks thrown her way by the members of the x-men. It took her tree full days to realise what the strange silences and weird looks meant. She was lying staring at the drawer, with the knife in, when it hit her. They must know! That would explain the strange looks and why the men had been staying away from her, while Storm never left her side. But how? They could know, she had told no one. Then she realised, the Professor must have broken through her barriers when she past out. She hadn't known whether her barriers would hold out if she were unconscious, well she had gotten her answer. She looked over to her clock, and seeing it was just after seven, she got up and started to dress. She knew the Professor was up at six thirty, she was going to sort this out, see just how many people knew her secret. Wasn't it the Professor who was always telling her that you shouldn't abuse your power, that you should always ask before invading people's privacy, she was furious and she was going to let the Professor know about it.

By the time Jean stood outside the Professor's office, she had worked her self up to the point where she could snap given the right fuel. Inside the Professor could nearly feel the heat from Jean's anger. Jean entered without knocking, and braced her self against her anger, she was not going to let it control her, she was in charge and no one was going to take that away from her, not even a part of herself.

"You know." It was a statement, not a question.

"How many people have you told? I'm guessing you told the x-men, anyone else?" Jean's voice was rising in temper.

"How can you lecture these children on not abusing their powers and not invading people's privacy, when you decide to invade mine! Even if I was unconscious, it does not give you the right to go through my mind. And then tell every one else!" The bulb in the Professors desk light gave a little pop and exploded.

"Jean you need to calm down. I did not read your mind, but yes I do know that you have been raped." The Professor's face didn't change expression for one minute. Jean stopped, she had not expected this. She'd thought he would deny all knowledge. She had certainly not expected him to say it, no one had said it, not even herself. She sat down in the leather chair behind her very quickly, her breathing coming raggedly. Slowly she raised her eyes to meat the Professor's. Her face had gone white. All of the anger, that had given her strength, was gone.

"Then how?" The silence seemed to stretch on forever. Jean's thoughts were whirling round her brain. Had she let slip some how?

"Storm told us." Jean's eyes clouded over with confusion.

"How did she know?"

"That you should ask Storm herself, I'm not at liberty to say." Jean looked into the Professor's eyes and realised she was not going to get anything more out of him. She sighed, frustrated, and left without a word.

Once out side, she sagged against the wall. So they knew, that's why she was getting the piteous looks every time she stepped into a room. Looking at her watch she realised Storm was not going to be up yet, plus it might be better for her to regain so control over her emotions before facing Storm. However Storm had managed to find out she had no right telling everyone! Wanting to hit some thing Jean set off for the Danger room.

Half an hour later, Jean could feel nothing, she had set the danger room to the highest level and she had been battered and bruised ever since. Some how feeling nothing but physical pain was a blessing. Her mind was concentrating so much on the physical pain, that her mental pain was temporarily forgotten. This bliss didn't last long though because Storm walked through the door when she had stopped to rest. Jean heard the clang of the door shutting, she turned to face Storm.

"You shouldn't be beating your self up like this, I've heard of a morning work out but this is a bit drastic isn't it?" Storm tried to lighten the mood, she sensed something different in Jean.

"How did you find out?" Storm was a bit taken back by the change of direction.

"Wolverine was complaining that he couldn't get into here because you had it." Storm looked puzzled, surely Jean wasn't hiding the fact that she was testing her skills too?

"No" Jean's eyes flashed in annoyance.

"How did you find out that I had been,,,,, raped?" Jean's mouth stumbled over the last word, and she inwardly cursed herself. Storm's eye's widened and she took a step backwards.

"I ,,,what,,,, I mean,,,,, ." Storm trailed off looking at Jean hopelessly. Jean's face blanked.

"You know I don't really care how you found out, but how dare you!!! How dare you go spreading it around!" Jean was shouting now.

"You had NO RIGHT!" Screaming Jean acted on her natural instinct, she moved her hand and one of the guns in the wall of the danger room started firing at random intervals. Storm's eyes turned, suddenly they were milky white, her hair began to collect static electricity. Jean let out a cry which made Storm think her ears might be bleeding, she had never heard some one in such pain before. Lighting started lancing down from the ceiling, but Jean held them back. More guns exploded from their sockets in the walls, one of the rams came out of the wall and knocked Jeans leg. Jean's eyes looked as though they were on fire. Keeping her hold on all of the objects and the lighting jean grabbed one of the walls and pulled as hard as possibly could, for it to land on Storm. She now couldn't see Storm all she could see was a person to blame, a person to hurt, a person to punish that wasn't herself. Fortunately her lack of sleep meant her hold on her telekinesis wasn't up to its normal strength. She was trying to push it too far by pulling down the wall as well as controlling the guns and holding the lightning. Her hold on the lighting slipped and as she was hit by the bolt that had built its self up behind her shield, Storm was struck by a bullet, and fell shaking to the ground. The silence that followed would have shattered windows. And as the dust settled, it moved to show two bodies, one lying twitching and one completely still. Jean's face was white, contrasting with her fiery red hair, a moan escaped her lips. Still twitching she moved and her eyes slide across Storm's too still body. Jean gasped, what had she done?

**Fin**

Don't you just love cliff hangers? Will she die? You'll just have to find out in the next chapter! As always please review! :D


	7. chap 7

Disclaimer: I own nothing (again!)

Also if people want to borrow this story for their own sites, could they ask n then I can tell everyone "oooh look some one liked my story enough to put it on their site!" :D It will give me much joy! ;)

Chapter 7

Walking down the hallway, looking for Storm, Wolverine heard the sound of gun shots. Surely Jean couldn't still be in the danger room! She had been about to drop from exhaustion when he had left her. He didn't admit it to him self but he had been avoiding Jean, and had made himself scarce when she looked as though she was about to come out. He had told himself that he was thirsty and needed water and would come back when Jean had finished. This was a lie and he knew it, but he felt too guilty when he thought it so he decided it was easier to just lie to himself.

Turning the corner he was sure of it now, the sound of guns were clear, but it was now accompanied by the sound of a scream. That scream was so feral and full of fear that he would have thought that it came from a wild trapped animal. Wolverine set off at a sprint and nearly ran into the door of the danger room. Trying the handle and finding it jammed, he unsheathed his claws and started slashing the door away. He could hear nothing now, and that scared him more than the sound of guns. Finally he got through the door and stood looking at the terrifying scene before him. The Danger room was destroyed, and in the rubble two bodies lay, one propped up against the wall and one lay flat out with her back bent scarily over a piece of rubble. Jean's eyes flickered open and she stared at what she had caused.

"No, no, no, I didn't mean to" Jean whispered. Hearing her voice Wolverine started towards Jean.

"No!" Jean put all of the force she had left into that word, and Wolverine stopped in his tracks.

"Don't come near me, I caused this, I don't deserve help. Help Storm." Jean could only stare at Storm's unusually pale face that seemed to get lost in the sea of milky white hair that fanned her head. The scratch on her forehead seemed to jump out at Jean. Tears rolled silently down Jean's cheeks, how could she have done this? What had that man made her into?

Wolverine moved quickly across to Storm and felt for a pulse. There was one but it was very faint. Going against all of his training for treating an injured person, he quickly picked Storm. He knew she needed to be in the hospital wing as soon as possible, he turned at the door way wanting to say something to comfort Jean but seeing the despondent look on her face, he knew whatever he said, she was not going to hear. He turned and trotted down the hall, keeping Storm as still as possible, sending out a message to the Professor to get to the hospital wing as soon as possible.

He reached the hospital wing and lay Storm gently down on one of the beds. He held her hand until the Professor came with Scott. He sat there praying that she would get better, for her and for Jean, because if anything happened he knew Jean would not survive either. When the Professor arrived he left Storm and hurried back down the corridors to find Jean exactly where he had left her, but fortunately this time unconscious. Picking her up he followed the same route again. Entering again he saw the Professor and Scott working hard to save Storm. Scott looked up, confusion on his face.

"What the hell happened?" Wolverine looked down at Jean.

"I think Jean attacked Storm. She was mumbling something about it was all her fault when I got there." The sentence hung in the air so you could almost see it.

"But why?" For once Scott seemed lost for words.

"I think I know." The professor's voice broke the silence.

"Jean came to me this morning looking for answers, unfortunately we hadn't hidden our sympathy for Jean well enough. She guessed we knew and automatically assumed I had read her mind while she was unconscious. When I told her that it was in fact Storm who had told us, she asked how she knew. I wouldn't tell her, and I think when she saw Storm she blew up emotionally before asking questions." At that moment the heart monitor Scott had put on Storm started bleeping and from then on they were too busy saving Storm's life and trying to see what damage Jean had sustained to ask anymore questions. Eventually Storm's condition was stable and while Jean was still unconscious there was no serious damage done.

"Storm is doing well and I think Jean will be sleep for a while. And we have a school to run, I think we can leave them for a little while. Scott and Logan opened there mouths to protest.

"No we have to children to think about too, they will be alright on their own for a little while." The Professor was not going to give in, so the two men saved their breath and went and kissed the two women lightly on the forehead. They turned and with one last look all three of them left the room.

A few hours later, Jean's eyes fluttered. Opening her eyes she looked around her, why was she in the hospital wing? Slowly she sat up and looked around the room, only when her eyes fell onto the sleeping form of Storm did she remember. Gasping Jean rushed over to the side of Storm's bed, and gently held her hand.

"Oh Storm I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just so angry at him, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I'm sorry, please wake up Storm, please, please." Her cheeks became wet with silent tears. Rocking backwards and forwards she softly stroked Storm's head.

Storm's hand twitched just very slightly, but Jean was too busy apologising to notice. A soft moan escaped Storm's lips.

"Storm?" Jean's whisperings became more persistent "Storm hunny, it's me, please wake up. I didn't mean for this to happen. Please get better." Very slowly Storm's eyes opened.

"Jean? Is that you?" Storm's eyes suddenly widened as she remembered what had happened.

"Are you ok?" Typical Storm, Jean thought, always thinking of others before her.

"I'm fine, I'm really, really sorry Storm. I didn't mean it, I don't know what happened to me." She trailed off hopelessly. How could Storm every forgive her after what she had done to her?

"Jean, it's ok. I'm not mad at you. I know what made you do it. You where mad at him weren't you? But you couldn't take it out on him so you took it out on the first person around." Jean nodded slowly.

"How, how did you know?" Jean had trouble keeping her mouth shut, how did Storm understand her so well?

"Because I saw the look in your eyes, it was the look I once wore. I know what you're going through and I'd like to help you if you give me a chance." Storm looked into Jean's eyes and saw shock and then only love. But there was no pity, Storm could have kissed Jean, because she saw no pity at all in Jean's eyes. Jean only said one word.

"Please" They embraced and Storm began to realise that this new found friendship could benefit her as much as Jean. Some scars never heal but by understanding each other and what they had gone through, they could reduce those scars greatly.

**Fin**

Ok I wasn't planning on ending the story there but it seems like quite a nice ending, what do you think? Should I give it up now? Or carry it on?


	8. chap 8

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Chapter 8

Over the next few days Jean spent most of the time avoiding students, who had heard bits of what had happened between her and Storm, and where filling in the gaps. Fortunately no one had guessed the real reason for Jean's breakdown, but there were a lot of wild guesses. Marie was one of Jean's protectors. She over heard Bobby and Pyro discussing the matter and it made her actually laugh for once.

"Have you seen Storm's face, man? It's nearly all purple!" Pyro looked half disgusted but half amused.

"Yeah you seen the Danger room? That's where Jean blew up at her, mind you Jean ain't looking much better!" Bobby was also grossly interested in the matter.

"But why would Jean do that? I mean I know she's been sulking around her for the past 3 weeks but I didn't think she was capable of something like that!"

"I heard that she had a secret plan to rule the world and Storm found out! So she decided to take out the only object in her way!" Marie decided to step in before this got out of hand.

"Boys, do you really think that Jean wanted to take over the world?! I mean come on! Plus if she did, do you think her and Storm would be such good friends now? It was probably just a misunderstanding, Jean has been a little stressed lately." Bobby flushed red from embarrassment at being caught discussing the subject while Pyro looked away.

"I still would like to know what happened" remarked Pyro.

"Yeah well its got nothing to do with us and you had better make sure the other students know that too, ok?" Marie stood hands on hips.

"Ok." Bobby said mutely, with a still red face.

"Pyro?" Pyro looked at Marie defensively but soon backed down under Marie's glare.

"Fine." He muttered. "I suppose it's got nothing to do with us" Marie watched as the two boys sulked off, shaking her head and chuckling to herself. Plot to take over the world? Really! The fact that she knew why Jean had attacked Storm, because she had been about to go into the Professor's office when they were having a meeting about it, she was not going to say. She respected Jean's privacy and besides she wasn't actually supposed to hear, she just arrived at the wrong time.

That meeting had been one of the worst meetings of Jean's life. As soon as she had entered the Professor's office, all eyes were on her. She had decided that this meeting should take place. She thought that her best friends, the ones she called her family, should hear what had happened from her. She also hoped that it would make the future a little bit less awkward. She was getting sick of the glances they kept giving her, she knew they where only checking to make sure she was alright and that they cared but it really irked her. That was why she had been spending most of her time with Storm, she knew what Jean was going through, and didn't pity her or make her feel overprotected. She was always there for her though. Just like she was there for Jean when she started to talk at this meeting, she reached over and just gently put her hand over Jean's. Jean looked down at Storm's hand over hers and saw the friendship between them. Jean drew strength from this, and as she began to talk her voice was a lot steadier because of it.

"You all know that about 3 weeks ago, now, I was raped." She didn't even hesitate over the words now.

"I hope that this won't effect our friendships and I can get on with my life as normal. I would like your support but I could not handle it if I get your pity." There was silence and then each one of them came over and gave her a hug. She could not have asked for more, words didn't say it so her friends said it with hugs.

"thank you." Jean's eyes were shiny with tears but on her face was the only true smile she had had on her lips for weeks.


End file.
